Monday, November 22, 2010

Cereal Beer

Cereal-infused beer, that is. They made it, not me. But I'm not saying I wouldn't drink a glass if the opportunity presented itself.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Lucky Charms Three Ways

So I bought some Lucky Charms. I'm not entirely sure why. People had been talking about them, I guess, and I'm highly suggestible. Plus, they're magically delicious, and all that. (Say no more!) The 11.5-oz box was $3.99 at Pac N Save -- not great, but not terrible, either. Certainly worth a try.

I'm not 10 anymore. Nor am I 11, or 12, or 13, or any of those numbers with 1s in front of them. Not hardly. I'm also not a Leprechaun. Mostly. So I may not be Lucky Charms' target audience. But I do love cereal, and can recognize a good cereal when I see one, whether it's got raisins, nuts, or swirled "marshmallow" charms. For the record, Lucky Charms has neither raisins nor nuts.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Code Red: No Cereal

It's one of my worst nightmares. And it happened last week: I was out of cereal. Call me melodramatic, but it is my number-one grocery-store priority to never run out of cereal (or milk), and I had failed. Miserably. Because I was out. Not I-don't-want-to-eat-any-more-Cheerios out, but the-cupboard-is-devoid-of-cereal-boxes out. This weighs on a man's psyche.

I know exactly how it happened, too. You see, only a couple days before the incident, I appeared to be quite well-stocked. There were at least four, maybe five boxes in the cupboard. I even made a trip to the grocery story and didn't refuel, figuring I was fine for another four fays or so. WRONG. Because here's the thing: The boxes weren't full. Not even close. Most had one, maybe two bowls left in them. And a bunch of little crumbs. Their abundance was an illusion, a cereal mirage, a bite-size, frosted figment of my imagination. It took two mornings to go from five boxes to zero. One morning, I swear, I finished off three of 'em. It's empowering, I'll admit, to conquer three cereal boxes in one sitting. Makes you feel like a king. But unless you've got a healthy reserve, there's a downside: no more cereal.

Monday, November 8, 2010


While you're working up the nerve to regale us with tales of your favorite cereal mixes, enjoy this blast from the past. Note how Link turns into a sort of purple teddy bear. Anyone ever eat this stuff? If yes, you rule immensely.

The Long-Awaited Post on Mixing... on its way. But before I write about my own favorite cereal mixes, and the insane level of cereal artistry that informs each, I'd like to ask you, my myriad readers, to let me know some of your favorite combos. Apple Jacks and Cocoa Crispies? Crispix and Cheerios? Grape Nuts and Lucky Charms? I won't judge. We won't judge. I just want to be educated. I'll even try a few of them out for consideration in my article on the wide world of mixing. So please, if you will ... lay it on me. [That is, lay it on the comments section.]

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Raisin Bran Extra: No Son of Mine

That's what Raisin Bran Crunch should be saying of this abomination of a spin-off called Raisin Bran Extra. Okay, maybe that's being a little harsh; it's not THAT bad. But hey man, stakes is high when you're dealing in territory this close to the inimitable Raisin Bran Crunch. I'm sure I'm far from the first -- and certainly not the last -- RBC fan to grab Raisin Bran Extra off the shelf in anticipation of a dining experience somewhat akin to the joy of crunching and chewing your way through a bowl of RBC. But it's not just a cock-tease for RBC fans; with its cranberries pieces and yogust clusters, it does the same to fans of Basic Four, another one of the greatest cereals ever. Upon noticing said ingredients on the box, one might mumble quietly to oneself in the cereal aisle while pondering this week's choices: "Hm, a new cereal similar to Basic Four. I must give it a try at once!" (Because that's the sort of prim and proper voice we all have in our heads when shopping for cereal. At least those of us who like Basic Four.) But alas, dear reader, Raisin Bran Extra is no Basic Four, just at is no Raisin Bran Crunch. It is something else altogether, something ... less good.

There are two primary problems with this cereal. First and foremost is the crunch, or lack thereof. Instead of crunchy Raisin Bran Crunch flakes, this cereal has "crispy" Raisin Bran flakes. They're a cut above the relatively flaccid bran flakes in original Raisin Bran, but still don't make much of a statement. After a few minutes, they even turn a tad soggy. Paired with soft cranberries and soft yogurt clusters and soft raisins and relatively soft almond slices (all that stuff is what makes it "Extra"), the flakes really should be crispier. The result is, as they say, mildly "crispy," but that just doesn't cut it. The balance is all wrong.