tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23609592720185742682024-03-14T08:42:48.022-07:00CEREAL HOURNate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-45961922041833261602011-02-07T16:47:00.000-08:002011-02-07T16:55:47.692-08:00Granola Is People, TooI know, I know ... this blog has fallen by the wayside as of late, as all blogs about cereal and other such things submerged in milk are wont to do. No sense in fighting nature. I'll do my best to keep Cereal Hour alive and kicking, even if it's just one hour every couple weeks. You can do your best to overlook my complete lack of dedication, and instead choose to revel in the cereal-ness (or is it cereality?) of it all.<br />
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So a bag of homemade granola arrived on my porch a number of weeks ago. No, it was not out of the blue -- it came as promised from my friend Tessa in Santa Cruz, whose mom developed her very own granola recipe. Being a <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/cereal-fatigue-syndrome.html">granola appreciator</a>, if not a connoisseur, I was interested in taking it for a spin. Well I've been snacking on the sizable stash all these weeks and am finally ready to say: It's really damn good. Not that that helps any of you out there, because there's little to no way you can get your hands on some, unless the family suddenly decides to go into the granola business. Which, I gather, the granola's popularity has rendered not THAT far out of the picture. But perhaps my point is more that if you feel so inclined, you, too, could whip up some granola from scratch, and while it may take you a few times to get it right, you could end up with something equally delectable.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>This particular mix contains oats, almonds, cranberries, dried pineapple chunks, raisins, and dried apricot chunks. Evidently, in the past the mix has also contained dried mango chunks. Magical. The ingredients come from farmer's markets, Trader Joe's, and Costco.<br />
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<a href="http://ithinkwerealonenow.com/">Santa Cruz filmmaker Sean Donnelly</a>, who really loves Tessa's mom's granola: "I am a granola lover. You could take me to most any store, and chances are I will have tried all the kinds of granola. But you know what? None of it is that good. Maybe if you left this granola in a dark hole for 4 years, then it would taste like store-bought granola. But for now it tastes far fresher and more flavorful than any granola you can buy."<br />
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Tessa, profound in her simplicity: "I feel like I have some friends just for the granola connection. It makes our house smell nice."<br />
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Tessa's mom herself, modest but no fool: "I was originally inspired by a visit to the Tassajara Hot Springs in Carmel Valley. ... All I know is everyone who tries it, loves it and wants to know where they can get more."<br />
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Tessa recommended eating it with any number of fruits, even spices, but I've found that it's so much better than the <a href="http://www.quakeroats.com/products/oat-cereals/natural-granola/oats-and-honey-and-raisins.aspx">Quaker Natural Granola</a> I'm used to that I'd just as well eat it naked. Not me, the granola. I have also enjoyed the granola with both milk and Mountain High Vanilla Yogurt, whereas I only do yogurt with the Quaker. This stuff is flexible. In fact, I'm currently eating it completely dry with a spoon out of a glass jar. It's good.<br />
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But this is about you. So go forth, granola eaters, and whip up a batch of your very own. If you do, I'll write about it on this blog -- for the benefit of ones, if not tens of cereal aficionados. Bye for now.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-36906489831723029132011-01-11T11:26:00.000-08:002011-01-11T11:26:20.680-08:00Electronic Light-Up Cereal Boxes<a href="http://timehuman.blogspot.com/2011/01/best-of-ces-2011-cereal-boxes-that.html">Just like we always dreamed of!</a> Though I can't say I share this guy's enthusiasm to the point that I won't be buying any more cereal until the light-up boxes are released. That would just be stupid.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-9589811294106833442011-01-06T23:17:00.000-08:002011-01-06T23:17:10.907-08:00100 Cereal Box Covers<a href="http://www.alanvalek.com/blog/2008/12/17/100-cereal-box-covers/">This is really rad</a>. I especially like Sir Grapefellow and Sugar Crisp on that last one.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-79724247234553362822011-01-03T15:25:00.001-08:002011-01-03T15:27:02.001-08:00I Knew There Was a Reason I Liked These Guys<a href="http://pitchfork.com/news/41080-flaming-lips-to-release-new-songs-every-month/">Flaming Lips to release new songs on cereal boxes?</a> Something tells me Raisin Nut Bran is out of the running.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-56736618469923347142011-01-03T00:22:00.000-08:002011-01-05T11:32:26.683-08:00The Long-Awaited, Long-Overdue, Much-Ballyhooed Post on Mixing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mrkate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/forcereal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" n4="true" src="http://www.mrkate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/forcereal.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
Mixing has been on my mind since Cereal Hour was merely a figment of my imagination -- since before blogging about cereal seemed an even remotely reasonable thing to do. I still wonder, in fact, if it <em>is </em>a reasonable thing for a grown man to do. But that is beside the point. I am here, you are here, we are here, cereal is here. And so it goes, said Vonnegut. The point I am making is that there's one simple reason this post has taken so long to materialize: I am intimidated by the very prospect. <br />
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Mixing cereal is so integral to my daily life (nary a weekday morning goes by where one cereal is not mixed with another) that I was wary to address it out of fear that I could not do it justice. Mixing was the marshmallow elephant in Cereal Hour's room, and it grew larger and more ribboned with red and green and yellow swirls and still more sugary every day. Until now.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Because thanks to the gentle chiding of one man -- a man with whom I have not spoken for many years, yet who by virtue of his willingness to write a <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/11/long-awaited-post-on-mixing.html">600-word comment on a post about literally nothing</a> wields great influence in my cereal-blogging life -- the long-awaited, long-overdue, much-ballyhooed post on mixing is here. Its time has come today. <br />
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(However, before we begin, I must note that I disagree with said man quite vehemently on one point: Ace of Base is <em>most certainly not </em>more annoying than the Vines. While it's true that AllMusic.com grants both Ace of Base's 1993 breakthrough <em>The Sign</em> and the Vines' 2002 breakthrough <em>Highly Evolved </em>four stars, the proof is in the pudding of the feared second album: Ace of Base gets three stars, the Vines only two-and-a-half. Case closed, I think.)<br />
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See how much I fear the post on mixing? I've just spent four paragraphs discussing everything about the post on mixing but the mixing itself.<br />
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The tyranny of the post on mixing ends now. The power it weilds over me is hereby vanquished. The buck stops here, et al.<br />
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This post will be broken up into three separate parts: 1) Why mix; 2) Mixes people have proposed but I have yet to try; and 3) Weird mixes I hereby propose.<br />
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1) Why mix: Because it's the closest thing to creativity in cereal consumption, because it cures the tedium of five-days-a-week cereal, because sometimes the results are fantastic, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggHae3QNvCc">BECAUSE WE JUST DO</a>. Seriously dude, why <em>wouldn't</em> you mix? Mixing allows me to experience my favorite cereals in new ways and to dream up classics of my own, all while beating back the beastly beast of repetition. I'm not much of a creature of habit, I suppose. I can eat cereal five days a week, but I can't eat the same stuff two days in a row. <br />
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Take <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/holy-bunches-of-oats-part-two.html">Honey Bunches of Oats</a>. It's a great cereal, and rather diversely constituted. Even so, I can easily get sick of it. So what I do is cut it with <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/generic-taste-off-1-cheerios-vs-joes-os.html">Cheerios</a> (preferably Multigrain). The O's and flakes get along nicely, and the bland flavor of the former dilutes the sweetness of the flakes and oat bunches nicely. It's a winning combination that extends my tolerance of both components.<br />
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Another cereal that blends really well with plain or Multigrain Cheerios is <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/11/lucky-charms-three-ways.html">Lucky Charms</a>. Those little Charms are way too damn sweet to eat on their own, but toss 'em with plain Cheerios (which, incidentally, are very similar in texture to the non-marshmallow pieces in Lucky Charms) and it's something I can get behind. <br />
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Cinnamon Life goes well with a bunch of stuff. I've never done it with Crispix, but that would be rad. Froot Loops with Apple Jacks. That's one I have done. Different brands of <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/raisin-bran-sog-and-how-to-avoid-it.html">Raisin Bran</a>. Done that. Different flavors of Cheerios. Done that too. <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/kid-tested-mother-approved-i-call-bull.html">Kix</a> and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Amazing. Truly amazing. Transformative.<br />
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Generally, it's good to pair a complex cereal with a simple cereal. Or a simple cereal with another simple cereal of a slightly different ilk. Or a sweet cereal with a bland cereal. But avoid mixing two complex cereals. Too many ingredients and too much potential for clashing, for something to go horribly wrong.<br />
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We all mix for our own reasons. We all mix our own shit. None of that matters. What matters is that we mix. Mixing makes us better people. Better people makes a better world. A better world makes better cereals. Ad infinum.<br />
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2) Mixes people have proposed but I have yet to try:<br />
<ul><li>Lucky Charms and Apple Jacks: Too sweet. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f8grWE7AOw">WTF, mate?</a></li>
<li>Cheerios and Corn Flakes or Total: Too bland. Ditto, mate.</li>
<li>Cheerios and Raisin Bran: This is outright, unparalleled genius and I can't believe I haven't done it yet.</li>
<li>Special K and Rice Krispies: See #2.</li>
<li>Life and Rice Krispies: Assuming Cinnamon Life, see #3.</li>
<li>Kix and anything other than Life: Intrigued.</li>
</ul><br />
3) Weird mixes I hereby propose:<br />
<ul><li>Cinnabon Cereal (Face! I just bought a box) and Eggo Waffle Cereal: Breakfast of champions.</li>
<li>Rice Krispies and Kashi: Mushy.</li>
<li>Grape Nuts and Apple Jacks: Irony.</li>
<li>Bite-Size Frosted Mini Wheats with Spoon-Size Frosted Mini Wheats: Fight the power, subvert the paradigm, all that.</li>
<li>Rice Krispies with Rice Krispies Treats Cereal: So obvious that it's not obvious at all; so genius that it's still genius. </li>
<li>Anything chocolate with anything else chocolate: The holy grail. </li>
</ul><br />
Only one piece of advice left to be said: Forget dancing; mix your cereals like no one is watching. No one but God. And He's really into cereal.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-35627799501392321752010-12-21T00:07:00.000-08:002010-12-21T00:15:40.518-08:00Cracklin' Oat Bran: Living in Danger<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBr8GjKotuXNgjcsAIHCK11PUm3HQu7FRDcHV7Z2cJJLz_n6jaAkgg5oxTqX6-z7cpipM0BODu302t7qbVi0z9iOAf6homQht3oGcLJ90Ed0VbCygOru97U038QYH-2nLRoWYz1zYASZK/s1600/cracklin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCBr8GjKotuXNgjcsAIHCK11PUm3HQu7FRDcHV7Z2cJJLz_n6jaAkgg5oxTqX6-z7cpipM0BODu302t7qbVi0z9iOAf6homQht3oGcLJ90Ed0VbCygOru97U038QYH-2nLRoWYz1zYASZK/s200/cracklin.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
I'm listening to the song "Standing Outside a Broken Telephone Booth With Money in My Hand" by the Primitive Radio Gods, and thinking about Cracklin' Oat Bran. For some reason the two seem to fit. Maybe it's the hollow rectangular shape of the cereal recalling an empty phone booth. Maybe it's the lightly toasted oatmeal taste syncing in my brain with the ethereal piano solo at 2:41. Maybe its the fact that both are outlaws of sorts -- Cracklin' Oat Bran with its unorthodox shape, Primitive Radio Gods with their one-hit-wonderness, both relegated to the sidelines of popular culture, both enjoying a sort of forlorn cult status from the fringes of our popular imagination.<br />
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Whatever the reason, Cracklin' Oat Bran has been on my mind. For a good while. Well, for a few days. Until Saturday night, I had actually never tried the stuff. Now I realize it's the XTC or the Beta Band or the Zombies or the Action of the cereal world -- revered by few, forgotten by most. And that's fine. Because mystique is very becoming on cereal, and Cracklin' Oat Bran is nothing if not mysterious. Its squared-off edges and geometric cuts and hard angles seem manufactured in some grey North Korean factory or some underground Montana bunker, infused with military precision and the vestiges of a time when, as Abe Simpson once put it, men's haircuts were so sharp you could set a clock to them.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>The texture is firm, unrelenting. It bends to no man and no milk. It bites back, so dense with potential that each break is a mini explosion. Rupturing that stolid square is like toppling a building, smashing a mirror, lighting a match. The taste is sweet and savory. Gina said it tastes like an oatmeal cookie, and I love oatmeal cookies, and I must agree with her. Wally said he's a fan, and he would know. Ellen said the cereal used to be available in bulk in large vats with large plastic scoops at her college, and that the cereal drove the co-eds wild, and that it's perhaps her favorite cereal, and that it's the first cereal she ever discussed with me when the topic was broached. "Crunchy, Sweet Oven-Baked Oat Cereal." "Standing Outside a Broken Telephone Booth With Money in My Hand." Indeed.<br />
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Cracklin' Oat Bran is nothing like the Vines, because I hate the Vines. It's not much like Doveshack singing "Summertime in the LBC," either. But it <em>is</em> like Ace of Base's "Young and Proud," or Ace of Base's "Living in Danger," or even Ace of Base's "Dancer in a Daydream," because those are pretty cool songs, all cold and calculated and sweetly sinister and kinda fucked by the establishment but nonetheless worthy of love. You could buy four Ace of Base songs on iTunes for $3.99, or you could buy a 17-ounce box of Cracklin Oat Bran', and I wouldn't fault you either way. Nourishment is nourishment. Taste is taste. Cracklin' is Cracklin'.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-19175718593324395572010-12-16T21:01:00.000-08:002010-12-16T21:01:38.722-08:00Nutritious Bran Treasures MushBehold: <a href="http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-creator.html">a cereal name creator</a>. It's kind of stupid. But that didn't stop me from crafting Lucky Dipped Sugar Cubes (TM), a Japanese children's brand; or Sweetened Nut Granola Loops (TM), a healthy alternative to Froot Loops; or even Nutritious Bran Treasures Mush (TM), something you should never, ever eat, yet will nonetheless be appearing on grocery store shelves in Spring 2011.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-41041624926149079632010-12-14T17:12:00.000-08:002010-12-14T17:18:54.500-08:00Cereal Remains of the Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7GnbvSjXLQD-Ud84NQx_GWhSDCqAAqESrGj3eRkKaan8ZoIf8Myt-3MqnPSA47kfZltUqP04542Q0fU01cTFi6aGdl6W25RHyZ2XDTMZBvx5rv0Roy5Lke8MOmsqZNchwVSkKjGT-joT2/s1600/CerealBoxMap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7GnbvSjXLQD-Ud84NQx_GWhSDCqAAqESrGj3eRkKaan8ZoIf8Myt-3MqnPSA47kfZltUqP04542Q0fU01cTFi6aGdl6W25RHyZ2XDTMZBvx5rv0Roy5Lke8MOmsqZNchwVSkKjGT-joT2/s200/CerealBoxMap.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
A cereal sage named Wally recently posited an interesting question to me: How does the enlightened cereal consumer handle the fractional remains at the end a cereal box after the last full bowl has been poured? Is this a matter of choice? Or is there a right and a wrong way to do it? I lean strongly toward the former, believing that cereal consumption is a matter near and dear to the soul and that the only potential sin pertaining to cereal is to not eat it at all. But still, it's a question worth addressing: How do we handle such remains, and why?<br />
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But first, allow me to clarify: I'm not talking about crumbs or sugar dust from <a href="http://stupidsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/mini-wheat.jpg">Frosted Mini Wheats</a> or stale <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/generic-taste-off-1-cheerios-vs-joes-os.html">Cheerios</a> or anything else unsightly. My advice is to dispatch of such things forthwith. But what about the raisin-less flakes at the end of a box of <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/11/rasin-bran-extra-no-son-of-mine.html">Raisin Bran</a>? What about the final fifteen Frosted Mini Wheats? What about the last quarter-cup of <a href="http://www.ricekrispies.com/recipes/the-original-treats.aspx#/recipes/the-original-treats">Rice Krispies</a>?<br />
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<a name='more'></a>The way I see it, there are two principal options. The first is to pile them on top of your last whole bowl, risking an overflow. Wally prefers this method, going so far as to use his open palm to restrain the heaping mass of cereal as milk is poured. But there's a point beyond which this is simply unreasonable. I could see adding 1/4 of a bowl atop a whole bowl. Makes you feel like a big boy. But 1/3 is getting risky, and 1/2 is damn near impossible unless you're eating from a gigantoid Ikea bowl. <br />
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The second option is to stick to your preferred bowl size and deal with the remains separately, no matter how big or small. This is my preference. On occasion, however, I'll get caught. I'm sure you've been there before: You're pouring from a nearly empty box when suddenly you realize you don't have enough bowl space to accommodate the unforeseen onslaught of cereal. But it's already too late: You've overburdened your bowl with an abundance of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Post-Alpha-Bits-Cereal-11-5-Ounce-Boxes/dp/B002LV6LWW">Alpha-Bits</a>. In all other cases, I keep the remainder for a smaller, second bowl, and top with the appropriate amount of milk. I suppose you could say I'd rather go too small than too big. But I won't judge those who'd go too big before too small (Wally et al) -- variety makes the world go round, and is also what makes <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/rice-krispies-treats-cereal-rip.html">Basic Four</a> so good.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-91257083463334312932010-12-09T09:19:00.000-08:002010-12-09T14:05:13.063-08:00S'mores vs. Waffles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTMy17EuwpWatvFJ6KrM96LnvMMpe5RLyewrncs1zB8r2eTjyjkXtuiWvJx4HFeRFSXSny_73qoNPe2k5nUKZ0nZRnyt6qNGfkkYScT0Or-QNv-tcMlJ5o9quiQqR-eYO0zgucLOlBJF4w/s1600/eggocereal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTMy17EuwpWatvFJ6KrM96LnvMMpe5RLyewrncs1zB8r2eTjyjkXtuiWvJx4HFeRFSXSny_73qoNPe2k5nUKZ0nZRnyt6qNGfkkYScT0Or-QNv-tcMlJ5o9quiQqR-eYO0zgucLOlBJF4w/s200/eggocereal.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><br />
I feel like a kid again. What's better: S'mores or waffles? Two of the supermarket's most sugary, unhealthy, unnatural, highly processed, and damn delicious cereals (in small doses, at least) currently reside in my kitchen cabinet, for no reason other than the fact that they were on sale, and I am, on occasion, a sucker for sugary cereals. I have fond memories of Post's <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080324213521AA4YQgK">Waffle Crisp</a>, a cereal that hasn't been around for ages yet seems to have been reborn as Kellogg's <a href="http://www.blogger.com/">Eggo Cereal</a>. Adjacent to the latter at Pac N Save was an attractive blue box of <a href="http://blogs.westword.com/cafesociety/smorz_cereal.jpg">Smorz</a> cereal. So I picked them both up for $2 a pop.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><b>Smorz:</b><br />
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This cereal, which only vaguely resembles real food, features subtly sweet "graham cracker" pieces flavored with "cinnamon" (I'm happy to report they stay very crunchy in milk and don't change the milk's color) paired with little cylindrical "marshmallow" pieces, like the kind that comes in hot chocolate packets, but bigger and swirled with chocolate. That's it. A spoonful or two or three ain't bad at all. But one thing this cereal did not do was remind me of s'mores. Not once, I tell you, did I experience the sensation that I was sitting around a campfire munching on actual, delicious, gooey s'mores. In fact, Smorz is to s'mores what <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Jacks">Apple Jacks</a> is to apples (remember the commercials? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6ObfOiIu4o">"If they named it Apple Jacks, shouldn't it taste like ... APPLES?"</a>). <br />
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Thanks to the marshmallows, Smorz is also exceedingly sweet -- but perhaps not as much as <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/11/lucky-charms-three-ways.html">Lucky Charms</a>. It's great as a snack because the graham-cracker pieces are big enough to handle. I learned that two actual bowls of this stuff in a row is more than I can take. In fact, it was so cloyingly sweet (like that word?) that I had to abandon my plans of following up the Smorz with a bowl of Eggo Cereal. That would have to come another day. Still, despite all this, it's a cereal I might buy again someday, if primarly for straight-from-the-box snacking. Probably not worth legitmizing with milk.<br />
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<b>Eggo Cereal:</b><br />
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Instead of Waffle Crisp, it dawns on me that this would be a good name for a gang: Waffle Crips. At initiation events and other such gatherings, members could eat waffles dyed in blue food coloring. But I digress. The cereal is not actually called Waffle Crisp, after all -- that's the name of its predecessor in the waffle cereal lineage. Eggo Cereal is pretty damn similar and I'd have to do a side-by-side comparison to identify the differences. I think it's just been repackaged and rebranded. But I digress again. Must be all that sugar I just consumed.<br />
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Eggo Cereal pieces are golden-yellow waffle discs in the shape of a hockey puck and slightly smaller in size than Smorz's graham-cracker pieces. They have a syprupy, buttery, cinnamony taste and a multi-dimensional crunch with a lot of personality. They soften in milk, but not necessarily in a bad way -- provided you don't let them soak there for too long. The cereal is considerably less sweet than Smorz, and much more palatable in general. I could eat a couple big bowls of this in a row and not feel like I just ate four packages of <a href="http://www.bradkent.com/images/bradkent.com/wrappers/wrappers/sunline/fun-dip.gif">Fun Dip</a>. <br />
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Smorz has its strong points, but in this contest Eggo Cereal is the clear winner. Not that it tastes anything like waffles.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-8119756201038646212010-11-22T21:38:00.000-08:002010-11-22T21:38:15.792-08:00Cereal Beer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZt9DuhWDCBJSzjyJ_cwJKshg2Zc3y78R7uYENale-snHvuOdFcbRYdO9L54qu2O3pjXVcyFRWIonnXU9uzH1BSXihxCs4xAtTBUnwOLSExbANj9SyJNWddqx_ZGzxksLX0VX6eP52M1Wk/s1600/crushedgrains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZt9DuhWDCBJSzjyJ_cwJKshg2Zc3y78R7uYENale-snHvuOdFcbRYdO9L54qu2O3pjXVcyFRWIonnXU9uzH1BSXihxCs4xAtTBUnwOLSExbANj9SyJNWddqx_ZGzxksLX0VX6eP52M1Wk/s200/crushedgrains.jpg" width="150" /></a></div><br />
Cereal-infused beer, that is. They made it, not me. But I'm not saying I wouldn't drink a glass if the opportunity presented itself.<br />
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<a href="http://groceryeats.com/2009/10/26/cereal-beer-challenge/">http://groceryeats.com/2009/10/26/cereal-beer-challenge/</a>Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-59580006296510094482010-11-19T08:50:00.000-08:002010-11-19T08:51:23.163-08:00Lucky Charms Three Ways<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/0/2/1/5/2/9/webimg/352370453_tp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/0/2/1/5/2/9/webimg/352370453_tp.jpg" width="135" /></a></div><br />
So I bought some <a href="http://www.luckycharms.com/">Lucky Charms</a>. I'm not entirely sure why. People had been talking about them, I guess, and I'm highly suggestible. Plus, they're magically delicious, and all that. (Say no more!) The 11.5-oz box was $3.99 at Pac N Save -- not great, but not terrible, either. Certainly worth a try.<br />
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I'm not 10 anymore. Nor am I 11, or 12, or 13, or any of those numbers with 1s in front of them. Not hardly. I'm also not a Leprechaun. Mostly. So I may not be Lucky Charms' target audience. But I do love cereal, and can recognize a good cereal when I see one, whether it's got raisins, nuts, or swirled "marshmallow" charms. For the record, Lucky Charms has neither raisins nor nuts.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>In order to give my new cereal a proper shake, I tasted it three different ways: dry, with milk, and with milk mixed with Joe's O's. Here's what I thought about it:<br />
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<u>Dry</u><br />
Lucky Charms makes for a pretty decent snack food or desert. Stick your hand in the box -- of, if you prefer to be sanitary, pour a handful into your palm, and dig in. Just resist the urge to eat only the marshmallows. It's easy to get carried away here, so control your consumption by pouring your desired amount into a bowl, or do as I did and rely on your wife to tell you when it's time to put the damn box away.<br />
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<u>With Milk</u> <br />
This is the classic, the way your mom used to do it: Fill a bowl with some milk and some Lucky Charms, and have a ball. The only problem is that Lucky Charms is too damn sweet, and ultimately too populated with "marshmallows," to make for a very satisfying breakfast cereal. It still feels like desert. I personally am not down with opening my morning to such an overwhelming taste of sugar, much as I love sugar. For kids only.<br />
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<u>With Milk and Cheerios (or Joe's O's)</u><br />
I'm on to something here. <i>This</i> is the way adults can eat Lucky Charms and not feel like a drop-out. The plain O's of the mix-in closely match the toasted oat cereal pieces already in Lucky Charms, essentially reducing the proportion of marshmallow pieces in the overall mix. You're diluting the sugar without changing the appealing taste or texture of the cereal, and also increasing its healthiness just a smidge. It's so damn <i>sophisticated</i>!<br />
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Take this knowledge, dear friends, and go out into the world. If you stumble across a box of Lucky Charms in the cereal aisle and feel tempted, snatch up a box of Cheerios while you're at it and do your thang guilt-free. As long as the box is around, you're also permitted to say "They're always after me Lucky Charms" in a terrible Irish accent ad nauseum. It's fun.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-60396383477654206822010-11-15T14:22:00.000-08:002010-11-15T14:26:18.281-08:00Code Red: No Cereal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.halfassedproductions.com/articles/082708/empty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" px="true" src="http://www.halfassedproductions.com/articles/082708/empty.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
It's one of my worst nightmares. And it happened last week: I was out of cereal. Call me melodramatic, but it is my number-one grocery-store priority to never run out of cereal (or milk), and I had failed. Miserably. Because I was out. Not I-don't-want-to-eat-any-more-Cheerios out, but the-cupboard-is-devoid-of-cereal-boxes out. This weighs on a man's psyche. <br />
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I know exactly how it happened, too. You see, only a couple days before the incident, I appeared to be quite well-stocked. There were at least four, maybe five boxes in the cupboard. I even made a trip to the grocery story and didn't refuel, figuring I was fine for another four fays or so. WRONG. Because here's the thing: The boxes weren't full. Not even close. Most had one, maybe two bowls left in them. And a bunch of little crumbs. Their abundance was an illusion, a cereal mirage, a bite-size, frosted figment of my imagination. It took two mornings to go from five boxes to zero. One morning, I swear, I finished off three of 'em. It's empowering, I'll admit, to conquer three cereal boxes in one sitting. Makes you feel like a king. But unless you've got a healthy reserve, there's a downside: no more cereal. <br />
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<a name='more'></a>That's exactly where I found myself last Thursday evening. In most respects, I'm a reasonable man. (<a href="http://www.anunreasonableman.com/">Unlike Ralph Nader.</a>) But when it comes to cereal, not so much. I needed breakfast the following morning, and neither eggs nor toast nor oatmeal would suffice. So I did what I had to do: Pac N Save. 9:30 p.m. Three boxes. No regrets.<br />
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And that's the story of how, come Monday morning, i.e., this morning, I was able to start my week with a bowl of <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/rice-krispies-treats-cereal-rip.html">Raisin Nut Bran</a> (awesome "healthy" cereal; see third paragraph), followed by a bowl of <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/raisin-bran-sog-and-how-to-avoid-it.html">Raisin Bran</a> (unrelated to Raisin Nut Bran; not as good as Raisin Bran Crunch, but still good), followed by a bowl of Raisin Nut Bran, followed by yet another bowl (albeit smaller) of Raisin Nut Bran. Yeah, I like raisins and bran flakes.<br />
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Because every story has a moral, at least when it comes to cereal, here's one: Just as you've sometimes got to shake up your friends a bit by accidentally stealing their Ted Leo + Pharmacists album in order to determine if they are true friends or just after your <a href="http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/Lucky%20Charms.jpg">lucky charms</a>, make sure to regularly shake your cereal boxes to determine if they're full, half-full, or nearly empty. You'll thank me in the morning.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-82735357362765036222010-11-08T14:34:00.000-08:002010-11-08T14:36:50.789-08:00Nin-Ten-DoWhile you're working up the nerve to regale us with tales of your favorite cereal mixes, enjoy this blast from the past. Note how Link turns into a sort of purple teddy bear. Anyone ever eat this stuff? If yes, you rule immensely.<br />
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<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HcayngErSMg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HcayngErSMg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-66064413716518227712010-11-08T14:26:00.000-08:002010-11-08T15:39:19.493-08:00The Long-Awaited Post on Mixing......is on its way. But before I write about my own favorite cereal mixes, and the insane level of cereal artistry that informs each, I'd like to ask you, my myriad readers, to let me know some of your favorite combos. Apple Jacks and Cocoa Crispies? Crispix and Cheerios? Grape Nuts and Lucky Charms? I won't judge. <i>We </i>won't judge. I just want to be educated. I'll even try a few of them out for consideration in my article on the wide world of mixing. So please, if you will ... lay it on me. [That is, lay it on the comments section.]Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-82890601806550972882010-11-02T09:36:00.000-07:002010-11-02T09:43:38.145-07:00Raisin Bran Extra: No Son of Mine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://sisterlysavings.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/raisin-bran-extra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" nx="true" src="http://sisterlysavings.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/raisin-bran-extra.jpg" width="129" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>That's what Raisin Bran Crunch should be saying of this abomination of a spin-off called Raisin Bran Extra. Okay, maybe that's being a little harsh; it's not THAT bad. But hey man, stakes is high when you're dealing in territory this close to the <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/raisin-bran-sog-and-how-to-avoid-it.html">inimitable Raisin Bran Crunch</a>. I'm sure I'm far from the first -- and certainly not the last -- RBC fan to grab Raisin Bran Extra off the shelf in anticipation of a dining experience somewhat akin to the joy of crunching and chewing your way through a bowl of RBC. But it's not just a cock-tease for RBC fans; with its cranberries pieces and yogust clusters, it does the same to fans of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Basic-Cereal-16-Ounce-Boxes-Pack/dp/B001E6K6G2">Basic Four</a>, another one of the greatest cereals ever. Upon noticing said ingredients on the box, one might mumble quietly to oneself in the cereal aisle while pondering this week's choices: "Hm, a new cereal similar to Basic Four. I must give it a try at once!" (Because that's the sort of prim and proper voice we all have in our heads when shopping for cereal. At least those of us who like Basic Four.) But alas, dear reader, Raisin Bran Extra is no Basic Four, just at is no Raisin Bran Crunch. It is something else altogether, something ... less good.<br />
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There are two primary problems with this cereal. First and foremost is the crunch, or lack thereof. Instead of crunchy Raisin Bran Crunch flakes, this cereal has "crispy" Raisin Bran flakes. They're a cut above the relatively flaccid bran flakes in <a href="http://www.c71123.com/images/boxbots/1999_10_20-raisin_bran-522.jpg">original Raisin Bran</a>, but still don't make much of a statement. After a few minutes, they even turn a tad soggy. Paired with <em>soft</em> cranberries and <em>soft</em> yogurt clusters and <em>soft</em> raisins and relatively <em>soft</em> almond slices (all that stuff is what makes it "Extra"), the flakes really should be crispier. The result is, as they say, mildly "crispy," but that just doesn't cut it. The balance is all wrong. <br />
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<a name='more'></a>Which leads us to the second fatal flaw: the mix of ingredients. On paper, it's super solid: cranberries, vanilla yogurt clusters, raisins, almond slices, "crispy" flakes. But something is lost in translation to the bowl; it just doesn't pan out. The magic is gone. The fire is out. Elvis has left the building. I bet if they lost the raisins (but then they'd have to call it Raisin-less Bran Extra!), added another type of nut, and made the flakes crispier, the cereal would be much improved. But I seriously doubt they'll do that for me, because I already alienated myself from all of the big-shot cereal execs reading my blog by <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/generic-taste-off-1-cheerios-vs-joes-os.html">ranking Joe's O's above Cheerios</a>.<br />
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Anyway, this is a cereal I won't be buying again. I'll even go with original Raisin Bran over this. But most of all, I'll go with the oft-imitated-but-never-beaten Raisin Bran Crunch and Basic Four. And now I gotta run, because our rabbit is chewing on my jacket.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-51171291342936406262010-10-28T08:53:00.000-07:002010-10-28T10:20:48.937-07:00Generic Taste-Off #1: Cheerios vs. Joe's O's<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUju3v11gx_BcDxLY20BkjUjjl4lEZmtfxYpOK_6Z8kuJqyUdDCA0NpZEE-MyP6WZEQCSKtUQPeKLIUAGGyzDN5ofnFLEZNLGXUiruYSeNVUDIr5lTs-68_-7_W6PSQtOCbPULaPoDQVzn/s1600/2297066590_20a8ee6d1a%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUju3v11gx_BcDxLY20BkjUjjl4lEZmtfxYpOK_6Z8kuJqyUdDCA0NpZEE-MyP6WZEQCSKtUQPeKLIUAGGyzDN5ofnFLEZNLGXUiruYSeNVUDIr5lTs-68_-7_W6PSQtOCbPULaPoDQVzn/s200/2297066590_20a8ee6d1a%5B1%5D.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
Five days before the Nov. 2 mid-term election, it's only appropriate to stage this battle between perennial incumbent <a href="http://www.facebook.com/Cheerios">Cheerios</a> and upstart cereal <a href="http://www.goodguide.com/products/269150-trader-joes-joes-os">Joe's O's</a>. They're both the vanillas of the cereal world: plain, simple, insistently tasteless blank canvasses on which to paint with fruit, other cereals, or, I dunno, flavored milk? Who actually eats this stuff by itself?<br />
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Well, that's what I'm about to do today. Because I'm brave like that. Both cereals will be tasted fixings-free -- a single heaping bowl each, paired only with 2% milk. Cheerios: the cereal moms use to pacify their babies, or Joe's O's: the Cheerios knock-off that is deemed fit for hip adults solely because it's sold at Trader Joe's. Which will prevail? Which will win the battle of the bland?<br />
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<a name='more'></a>First up is the champion, Cheerios.<br />
<b>Price</b>: $3.99 for 8.7 oz.<br />
<b>Box</b>: Yellow with blue accents <br />
<b>Description</b>: "Toasted Whole Grain Oat Cereal"<br />
<b>Health claim</b>: "As part of a heart healthy diet, the soluble fiber in Cheerios can help lower your cholesterol." <br />
<b>Notable nutrition facts</b>: 170 mg of potassium to Joe's O's 60mg. That's good.<br />
<b>Appearance</b>: Lightly browned oat o's.<br />
<b>Taste</b>: Bland, burnt oat taste. Good crunch. Suitable for teething babies, ample applications of fruit (bananas, berries, pears, etc.), or mixing with other cereals (anything with crunchy flakes; now <i>that's</i> synergy).<br />
<b>Bottom line</b>: Poor tasting, high-priced cereal that's relatively good for you.<br />
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And now we have the challenger, Joe's O's. <br />
<b>Price</b>: $1.99 for 15 oz.<br />
<b>Box</b>: Yellow with red accents <br />
<b>Description</b>: "Toasted Whole Grain Oats"<br />
<b>Health claim</b>: "Fortified with Six B Vitamins Including 50% DV Folic Acid. 1 Gram of Sugar per Serving"<br />
<b>Notable nutrition facts</b>: 280 mg of sodium to Cheerios' 160 mg. That's bad.<br />
<b>Appearance</b>: Somewhat more lightly browned oat o's.<br />
<b>Taste</b>: A good, subtle flavor that's hard to place. Notes of vanilla? Sweeter than Cheerios, with less of a burnt note. Crunch, however, is overzealous; texture balance is a bit off. Again, suitable for teething babies, ample applications of fruit, mixing with other cereals, or, if you're hard up, eating by itself.<br />
<b>Bottom line</b>: A good value with a few potential worthwhile uses. No superhero, but no villain, either.<br />
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And there you have it: the nod in the battle of the bland goes ever so tastelessly to Trader Joe's Joe's O's. Be sure to tell all of the expecting mothers and cash-strapped Trader Joe's shoppers out there. As for me, I'll continue to buy exactly neither of these cereals. (And pardon me while I use <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/raisin-bran-sog-and-how-to-avoid-it.html">Raisin Bran Crunch</a> to get that taste out of my mouth.)<br />
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Leave your suggestions for more generic vs. name-brand taste-offs in the comments section. If I choose your selections, you'll win a big pat on the back from whoever is nearest to you when you find out! Now that's democracy.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-25562119165915637172010-10-19T22:26:00.000-07:002010-10-19T22:29:21.986-07:00Cereal Fatigue Syndrome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH4y_s0m3g199ugBrqehvhyt3UEZcbQnO2fK39zSWvVZnQRc4flDJ1Lru3yh628IqCtBWRRJ2LH7Q399eabXombrjOEP55g_mUI313SYaacZiCGT6nTmMiA0-lP3KKQQIM0Lod3RE8j2sr/s1600/10-pee-wee-mr-t-cereal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH4y_s0m3g199ugBrqehvhyt3UEZcbQnO2fK39zSWvVZnQRc4flDJ1Lru3yh628IqCtBWRRJ2LH7Q399eabXombrjOEP55g_mUI313SYaacZiCGT6nTmMiA0-lP3KKQQIM0Lod3RE8j2sr/s320/10-pee-wee-mr-t-cereal.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Everything in moderation, my grandfather always said. Well, I mean, he never actually said that. At least not to me. That I can remember. But I'm sure that if he had, he would've meant it as much in regards to cereal as to, say, chocolate or beer or broccoli with cheese sauce. Because while cereal is a beautiful thing, much like chocolate and beer and broccoli with cheese cause (if that's how you roll, I won't judge you), too much of it isn't such a beautiful thing. <br />
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In my life, the warning signs of Cereal Fatigue Syndrome crop up on an approximately biweekly basis. Most mornings, I awake outright <em>excited</em> about breakfast. I kid you not: before I'm even out of the shower, I've already decided exactly what types of cereal I'm going to eat, how I'm going to mix them, which is due for my first bowl, and which are in line for subsequent bowls. Then I sit down at the table and fulfill my wildest dreams, perhaps sticking to my plan and perhaps riffing on it -- improvising mixes, going with what works, abandoning what doesn't. But some mornings, maybe once a week, or more likely once every other week, I wake up and the cereal visions don't come. Instead, a void. I need something new.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Cereal Fatigue Syndrome is often cured with a single day of variation. Most likely, I'll do a big bowl of yogurt and granola, with fruit on top. It's good stuff. But it lacks the staying power of cereal. One day, two tops, and I'm done. Then I'm back on the cereal kick. Or maybe I'll do eggs. I'll admit: I'm not a big egg guy. One day of eggs and I'm good for at least a week. Back to the cereal!<br />
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Maintaining variety in cereal consumption helps, but it's not a cure-all. Most days, I eat three or four bowls consisting of two, three, or even four different types of cereal. It helps keeps things fresh, exciting, even dangerous -- like a new love. I know, that's sad, but stick with me here. Even new love fades. That's why, if I can help it, I don't eat cereal on the weekends. Saturdays and Sundays are days to recharge my cereal battery. Monday I'm back at it with a vengeance.<br />
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One of my good friends, who has hopefully made it this far into the post, once ate cereal all day every day for some indeterminate period of time in college. Eventually, he began to slowly waste away. Cereal is not as nutritious as some of us cereal freaks may wish -- especially when you're eating the bargain bag stuff, which my dear friend was -- so it certainly doesn't suffice as your sole source of sustenance. He made it a good, long while, but eventually, he, too, began to suffer from a serious case of CFS. Much to his credit, he has recovered and continues to eat cereal like a champ. <br />
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But here's the moral of the story: don't be like him. Eat a lot of cereal, but not <em>a lot</em> a lot.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-42686638993699676282010-10-15T08:48:00.000-07:002010-10-15T11:41:52.660-07:00Zen and the Art of Cereal-Bag Opening<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ee4zOZh10QrF9C9lZiq_RvK6wMbXH3qaXlx3WseJeNXCTraQYiXP5X443pYCeyPV5nn1T-F3CQ8TSt-jB_Nd_z62B1ul0_WFYF-CfxiynlpJxX5sHL3HTnJ-J2bHMp4wVOoUdpwxpQqu/s1600/New+Image.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_ee4zOZh10QrF9C9lZiq_RvK6wMbXH3qaXlx3WseJeNXCTraQYiXP5X443pYCeyPV5nn1T-F3CQ8TSt-jB_Nd_z62B1ul0_WFYF-CfxiynlpJxX5sHL3HTnJ-J2bHMp4wVOoUdpwxpQqu/s200/New+Image.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><br />
Much has been made on this blog of the taste of various cereals. That's all fine and good, but before tasting, one must perform an even more essential task that so far has been overlooked: opening the bag. For without razor-sharp claws, tearing through the plastic with a single violent swipe of the hand is practically out of the question. And without futuristic, super-advanced stomachs that can process plastic and convert it into little wooden coins, eating it whole is, too. Thus we are left with one option: using our antiquated "fingers" to tear open the bag along the top seam.<br />
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There are two distinct schools of thought on the matter, and within each, right ways and wrong ways. The first method is the corner hole. This is the one I employ, for practical reasons. It involves opening the bag along the seam, <i>but only at one end</i>. The hole usually extends out a few inches from the corner -- just enough room for cereal to pour through, but not so much that you're left with a gaping, unmanageble opening at the top. Not only does the latter make for a less clean pour, but it may also accelerate the aging process of your cereal, especially if you don't properly seal the bag by folding it in half -- or, as I like to do, both folding and crumpling it up inside the box. The corner hole is a neat and tidy approach, and approved by <i>Good Housekeeping</i>.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Now. There is another approach, one that a certain wife of mine practices. I challenge someone to defend it in court, but she insists on doing it this way. What I am referring to is the notorious whole-bag tear. You begin the same way as my method, but you don't stop at two inches; nor three, nor four, nor six. INSTEAD, you open the whole damn thing, tearing the seam from end to end so that the top of the bag is as open as a hungy hungry hippo's mouth. I don't see the benefit of this, frankly, and I encourage someone to attempt to explain it. But I can respect it for its boldness. Sometimes, in the morning, all you really need is a wide-open cereal bag to remind you that everything's going to be okay. <br />
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As for the wrong way -- well, it's basically the same for both approaches. It involves the cleanliness of the tear. Every once in a while, or for certain brands of cereals, you may notice that the top seam will not split. Instead, you end up with tears in the plastic below the seam, where your clumsy fingers were grabbing it and attempting to pull it apart. This is a catastrophe, one that must be avoided at all costs. Not only does it impede all future seam-opening activities, but it also makes for a serious cereal obstacle on its way from the bag to your bowl. Cereal pieces may become entrapped, causing a blockage. Or, they may pass through the hole and fall into the space between the bag and the box, never to be seen again. For today's sophisticated cereal eater, that's just unacceptable. <br />
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If you find yourself facing an unopenable seam, here's what you do: Grab a pair of scissors. Before the damage gets too bad, cut the corner off the bag. You don't want to cut down too low -- maybe an inch or two from the top (but make sure you get the damaged plastic) -- and cut in a few inches from the side. This will create an isocoles triangle opening resembling in shape and function the corner hole mentioned above. Those of you who prefer whole-bag openings may be frustrated by this relatively small opening, but it beats the hell out of a ravaged bag.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-33789516324677401842010-10-11T19:41:00.003-07:002010-10-11T20:09:47.328-07:00Holy Bunches of Oats! Part Two!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.couponing101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/honey-bunces-of-oats-pecan-bunches.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="200" src="http://www.couponing101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/honey-bunces-of-oats-pecan-bunches.png" width="139" /></a></div><br />
I'm nothing if not dedicated to cereal. Really. So when <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/holy-bunches-of-oats-part-one.html">I promised to diligently taste-taste five different flavors of the distinctively delectable cereal Honey Bunches of Oats</a> last week, I meant it. And now, un-bait your breath, dear cereal obsessives: The results are in. But first, a word on how the test went down. Over the course of four or five days, I tried all five cereals with the same type of milk. Also, contrary to my very nature, I abstained from mixing -- all cereals were enjoyed sans accoutrements. And that includes fruit. Just me, one type of cereal, and milk. What I learned both surprised me on some fronts and reinforced my expectations on others. As a reminder, the five varieties were: Almonds (i.e., original), Cinnamon Bunches, Pecan Bunches, Peaches, and Apples and Cinammon Bunches (a LIMITED EDITION box, so rare I felt guilty eating it. Not really.). And now, let's go to the leaderboard, Mo! In order of ascending awesomeness...<br />
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<a name='more'></a>5) <strong>Peaches</strong>. If you read my last post, you'll know that I totally saw this coming (sorry, Jos). I'm just not a big fan of dehydrated fruit in cereals. It's a total cop-out. If you want fruit on your cereal, put some damn fruit on your cereal. None of this "fruit" H.B.o.O. has tried to pass off as bite-size peach slices. The flavor is funky, and the chalky texture is all wrong. What's more, all of the flakes and oat bunches are tinged with the same funky flavor. Not a big fan. In the general pantheon of cereals, I'd rank this around the middle of the pack.<br />
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4) <strong>Apples and Cinnamon Bunches</strong>. See above. The "apple" slices are slightly more palatable than the "peach" slices, retaining a bit of the chewy texture of real dried apples. Are these real? Maybe so, maybe not. But they just have no place in my cereal bowl. They taste artificial (both flavor and texture), they're hard to identify because they're the exact same color and size as the blonde flakes (I like to know what each bite has in store for me... the element of surprise I could do without), and most of all, they don't make a compelling case for apple chunks pairing well with cereal. Apple flavor is great (see <a href="http://www.cheerios.com/ourCereals/AppleCinnamonCheerios/AppleCinnamonCheerios_home.aspx">Apple Cinnamon Cheerios</a>, et al), but as far as fruit pieces go, I'm not convinced. LIMITED EDITION = eh.<br />
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3) <strong>Cinnamon</strong> <strong>Bunches</strong>. Now we begin to get into the good stuff. Cinnamon is to cereal heads what crack is to crack heads. Right? Maybe it's just me. But cinnamon, man -- it's great. HOWEVER, cinnamon execution herein leaves a bit to be desired. The texture of this cereal is similar to that of original Honey Bunches of Oats. However, instead of a honey flavor, you get a mediocre cinnamon. It's enough to float my boat, but not enough to sink my battleship.<br />
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2) <strong>Almonds</strong>. This is the original. The OG. The godfather. Etc. And dammit, it's good. The recipe really stands the test of time. I've never got sick of it, and I don't think I ever will. I'm not going to describe the taste here, because if you don't know what Honey Bunches of Oats tastes like, you're probably not really a cereal fan -- that is, you're reading this blog simply to score chicks. There's nothing wrong with that, and I'm sure you'll do fine, but so as to preserve the integrity of this endeavor, please simply leave Cereal Hour open on your browser, or saved prominently in your list of Favorites, and leave the heavy lifting to us. <br />
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1) <strong>Pecan Bunches</strong>. Without much fanfare, I hereby declare Pecan Bunches to be the king of all Honey Bunches of Oats flavors. It has usurped the original, the OG, the Godfather, etc. It has stolen the crown. It has executed a bloodless coup, ascended the ranks, climbed the corporate ladder to the very top, whathaveyou. It's just a great cereal, whether you dig pecans or not. And I do. While retaining most of the appeal and charm of the original, it steps things up a notch with a nutty flavor and crunch that is nearly unrivaled in the cereal aisle. Granted, part of the reason I've given Pecan Bunches the nod over the original, which is very good, is that it's the underdog, the outsider, the newcomer -- and I have a thing for underdogs. I value a taste of something new. Something that both references and improves upon the original. That's no easy feat. So challenge me if you must, but this is my vote: Pecan Bunches in 2010. And thank you for your time.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-38904328141788121182010-10-06T00:20:00.000-07:002010-10-07T17:31:33.457-07:00A Word on Crying Over Spoil't Milk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000961051/iStockSpilledMilkB_xlarge.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000961051/iStockSpilledMilkB_xlarge.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
So a terrible thing happened to me today, tempered only by the fact that I sort of saw it coming. This morning, I woke with dreams of Honey Bunches of Oats dancing in my bowl. I was to begin my <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/holy-bunches-of-oats-part-one.html#more">super-official battle-royale taste-test H.B.o.O. extravaganza</a> today. Expectations were high. But it was not to be. The milk that yesterday was slightly askew, not quite right but okay to consume, was today dead and gone. This was ex-milk, sour and repugnant and bound for the drain. As I poured the last ounces from the carton, I realized that that was it: No cereal this morning. No cereal. This morning. No cereal this. Morning. So I had a couple eggs and some sourdough toast with blueberry spread from Trader Joe's.<br />
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There's a moral to this story, and it's one I should remember myself: If, my friends, you notice that the milk in your refrigerator is approaching its expiration date, or is generally beginning to taste or smell a bit funky, do not delay. No matter how much of a tough guy or gal you think you are, get thee to the store and restock! That very day! Especially if you're planning to begin a super-official battle-royale taste-test extravaganza the following morning. Worst case is that your carton lasts a few more days, then you tap into the next one. Best case is a mouthful of cereal and milk. I had none of that this morning, because of my own sloppy milk-supply management. Don't let it happen to you.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-3085494924137931742010-10-03T22:42:00.000-07:002010-10-19T22:53:38.750-07:00Holy Bunches of Oats! Part One!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_E_BTss_3pLT9glpzPFZlM5E2fP_A8elz99hiDcuWMNI2G-8zAPSHLegRP5schXDoiYgdKtNn1QpHDM8rjS8hlM0yW75Fmk1mmKCvmdKPfSQAbV-rw5GKXLMK9pjO-dbKsOInRUfC_mc_/s1600/honey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_E_BTss_3pLT9glpzPFZlM5E2fP_A8elz99hiDcuWMNI2G-8zAPSHLegRP5schXDoiYgdKtNn1QpHDM8rjS8hlM0yW75Fmk1mmKCvmdKPfSQAbV-rw5GKXLMK9pjO-dbKsOInRUfC_mc_/s200/honey.jpg" width="125" /></a></div><br />
10/11/10 UPDATE: SEE THE RESULTS <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/10/holy-bunches-of-oats-part-two.html">HERE</a>!<br />
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Remember how I said that I often <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/surviving-hunt-and-living-to-see.html">base cereal-buying decisions on sales and sale prices</a>? (Who among us, by the way, could claim to be immune to such forces? With so much choice in the cereal aisle, it helps to pass off some of that stifling autonomy to the powers that be.) Well, I got quite carried away last night when I bought FIVE boxes of <a href="http://www.postcereals.com/honeybunchesofoats/">Honey Bunches of Oats</a>. They're all different varieties, at least: Cinnamon Bunches (I'm snacking on them right now ... not bad), Almonds, Pecan Bunches, Peaches, and, the real coup de grâce, a LIMITED EDITION box of Apples and Cinnamon Bunches. Here's why: Buy 4 Get 2 Free. That explains the first four. As for the fifth ... well, I'm not sayin' I'm a cereal collector, but I just had to snatch up that LIMITED EDITION box, too -- it was on sale for something like $3.50, and came in a bigger size than the others. Solid.<br />
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In case you aren't "in the know," Honey Bunches of Oats is, in all its forms, a highly respectable cereal. I thought my wife, who likes cereal only slightly more than she likes <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://c1.planetsave.com/files/2007/08/broccoli.jpg&imgrefurl=http://planetsave.com/2007/08/21/eat-your-veggies-compound-found-in-broccoli-boosts-immune-system/&usg=__h0_dowV-YOs4MmwM6HcNoaUnKXE=&h=306&w=296&sz=23&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=6ohlG2HkQ9asoM:&tbnh=125&tbnw=121&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbroccoli%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D580%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=345&ei=5mqpTPqDBY2WsgPz5OSeDA&oei=5mqpTPqDBY2WsgPz5OSeDA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0&tx=21&ty=10">broccoli</a>, and considerably more than she likes <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/vegetabl/images/large/brusselssprouts.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hort.purdue.edu/ext/senior/vegetabl/brussels1.htm&usg=__7d2EGYtCyJjsOj4TC3AM2a_NIvQ=&h=480&w=640&sz=77&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=XyPwPonT9kbRiM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=160&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbrussels%2Bsprouts%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D580%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=367&ei=zWqpTImSH5DmsQO7q-CjDA&oei=zWqpTImSH5DmsQO7q-CjDA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0&tx=37&ty=28">Brussels sprouts</a>, which is to say not much, celebrated the entire Honey Bunches of Oats catalog. It's that kind of cereal -- even if you're not an addict, you can appreciate this stuff. No reflection on Honey Bunches of Oats' inestimable quality, but it turns out she only likes the one with Peaches. Her bad. So she can have that box. (Also worth noting: Honey Bunches of Oats is really fun to say. Go ahead. Give it a try.)<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Being in possession of five varieties of this fine cereal, including a SPECIAL EDITION, poses a fine opportunity for taste testing. Is the SPECIAL EDITION Apples and Cinnamon Bunches cereal really so SPECIAL, or is it just an EDITION? Is the Peaches variety, treated to fake little peach-flavored pieces throughout, really the best? (Spoiler alert: No.) What's tastier? Pecan Bunches or Cinnamon Bunches? And, finally, how does the OG H.B.o.O variety "With Almonds" hold up against its newfangled offspring? <br />
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Only time, a few spoons, the Wednesday paper, and many cups of 2% milk will tell. Once I've fearlessly tested all five flavors, I'll post my results here at Cereal Hour forthwith! Should take a week or so. Don't miss it! Because if you do, you'll, like, not know what I had to say about them. And that -- that'd be totally tragic.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-61317844937424356912010-09-30T23:22:00.000-07:002010-10-01T09:55:51.332-07:00Found on Flickr<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/danray/2284903666/lightbox/">So are we talking just pandas</a>, or might I find some giraffes in there, too?Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-1211094180111477672010-09-29T14:20:00.000-07:002010-09-30T11:42:46.406-07:00Raisin Bran Sog and How to Avoid It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh61e-NteoQ-De82xKVIU7hlm0u9L9p7bkfqLmyM4HU1vz7g6M6hdgY1Rj7tJW3ZlOToY0lU3mZAWiU4IbzWWURkputkSNyUSsimO7th8SgDhKBdr1981LhrZ_MMtEj5VKQt_bDravuUxsL/s1600/raisin-bran_crunch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh61e-NteoQ-De82xKVIU7hlm0u9L9p7bkfqLmyM4HU1vz7g6M6hdgY1Rj7tJW3ZlOToY0lU3mZAWiU4IbzWWURkputkSNyUSsimO7th8SgDhKBdr1981LhrZ_MMtEj5VKQt_bDravuUxsL/s200/raisin-bran_crunch.jpg" width="138" /></a></div><br />
Forgive me, if you will, for shilling for a product I find highly amenable to my morning ritual: that rich uncle of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raisin_Bran">raisin bran</a>, <a href="http://www2.kelloggs.com/ProductDetail.aspx?id=583">Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch</a>. Like Willie Nelson and red licorice, this stuff just doesn't get old. Normally, I'm highly cynical of spin-off cereals. Like <a href="http://www.blurtit.com/q484368.html">Berry Kix</a>, et al. If your first cereal wasn't good enough, what makes you think I'll like your second, third, or eighteenth (<a href="http://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal_family.asp?familyid=11">Soccer Crunch</a>, much?)? But this one's different. I'll admit, when I first saw this on shelves a number of years back, I thought to myself, in my most Scroogey interior monologue, 'What do we have here? Another Johnny-come-lately in the raisin bran family? Bah humbug.' A couple of months went by. Eventually, I couldn't resist this granola- and nut-encrusted Siren of the cereals. And thank God I broke down, because Raisin Bran Crunch is now one of my all-time faves.<br />
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Assuming you're cool with bran flakes and plump raisins in your breakfast bowl, traditional raisin bran still has one major stumbling block that's kept it from going viral: persistent, inescapable, irreversible sogginess. Most raisin brans, and I'm not just talking Kellogg's here, suffer from the same ailment: flakes that last about a minute in milk before giving up the crunchy ghost and going soft, soft, soft. Sure, you can get used to this, but can you every really get excited about it? Maybe I'm wrong; maybe some people love that about it. And maybe they have a Gilligan's Island lunchbox or nine cats or a front lawn made of artificial turf. But let's leave those people out of the conversation. Because what I'm talking about here is <i>crunch</i>.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>Raisin Bran Crunch delivers it in spades. But that's not all; it's got the perfect balance of taste and texture. Chewy, sweet raisins; lightly crunchy yet substantial flakes that can hold it together for longer than a minute; a dusting of oat slivers and honey-kissed granola pieces; and a touch of sugar glazing each bite. Not much else to ask for. I can devour multiple bowls on end -- and do. One time, Pac N Save had them on sale for something like five boxes for $10. Guess what? I bought five. And guess what else? They didn't last long, my friend.<br />
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So here's my point: If you're not a raisin bran fan, but aren't intrinsically opposed to the cereal's genetic makeup -- that is, bran flakes and raisins -- then give Raisin Bran Crunch a try. You may just love it. Alternatively, you may not. Couple of options there. Good luck with that.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-42750099443539669232010-09-26T22:53:00.000-07:002010-09-26T22:53:11.272-07:00in the past hour i ate a whole box of cerealNot me, but <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6333777">this guy</a>. And don't miss the insightful commentary. Highlight: "Cerealboy!"<br />
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More cereal-related web detritus as I find it. Because I love you. And because I'm snacking on the very Kix I <a href="http://cerealhour.blogspot.com/2010/09/kid-tested-mother-approved-i-call-bull.html">recently dismissed</a>. Penance.Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2360959272018574268.post-16538469678201746732010-09-24T23:45:00.000-07:002010-09-24T23:56:30.084-07:00Surviving the Hunt … and Living to See Another Bowl<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_Z4UqDUYs10OPijs8tiNRS-5byfWX3g2PyVxSdQEf9FZuDlSDhLP3qdpXsh2X3qFoQJUoz0CsJLapvoFg0PpV4EBQgVpprHt0Zpc1QyCCeEVR6uXPzK9kZBmh7jSQgGD4-XdYTqeTktQ/s1600/hurtlocker-cereal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH_Z4UqDUYs10OPijs8tiNRS-5byfWX3g2PyVxSdQEf9FZuDlSDhLP3qdpXsh2X3qFoQJUoz0CsJLapvoFg0PpV4EBQgVpprHt0Zpc1QyCCeEVR6uXPzK9kZBmh7jSQgGD4-XdYTqeTktQ/s320/hurtlocker-cereal.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Second to consuming it, the thing I like most about cereal is shopping for it. It’s the thrill of the hunt, I suppose – a primal connection to my distant ancestors, who had to track and kill cereal in the wild every morning. I wish I could experience one of those aboriginal hunts, just to invigorate my senses: Swarms of <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Frosted%20Cheerios">Frosted Cheerios</a> (thanks, Urban Dictionary!) bounding in peril across the African savannah; a clan of tall, lanky Seltenriches in hot pursuit, wearing only boxer shorts; back at camp, bowls made of wildebeest skulls, filled to the brim with the coldest goat’s milk. Forgive me if I’m romanticizing or flubbing the details; they may have in fact been antelope skulls. I am simply not sure. The point is that my weekly quest for delicious cereals at fair prices is not merely a force of habit. It’s genetic.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Some people, when faced with the modern supermarket’s sprawling cereal aisle, may be overcome by options, paralyzed by fear of failure. Make a mistake here and you’ll meet it face-to-face in the cupboard every morning for a week. I sometimes see such people floundering there in the store, pacing from the <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Platelist/chef-sean-brock-revives-antebellum-eats/story?id=11654820">Froot Loops</a> to the granola and back again, picking up boxes and putting them back, eyeing price tags and nutrition labels. There is panic in their eyes. I can’t help but feel for them. <br />
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<a name='more'></a>But only for a moment. There is work to do. Queries fire like synapses in my mind: What am I out of at home? What haven’t I bought in a while? What do I feel like eating right now? What kind of variety, healthiness (or lack thereof), and mixing potential can I achieve? And, finally, what the hell is on sale? These five factors, arranged unconsciously via a complex algorithm within my <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/cerebellum.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/cerebellum.html&h=336&w=400&sz=35&tbnid=WQmvCFI9X6r6lM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcerebellum&zoom=1&q=cerebellum&usg=__VE23jFrh1PiXswMO1G13egdSKCU=&sa=X&ei=lZmdTOnxG5TGsAPX4IjWAQ&ved=0CDoQ9QEwBA">cereal-bellum</a>, will determine what two or three or even four boxes will escape their earthly shelving today in my warm embrace, or (less dramatically) at the bottom of the shopping cart.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Don't mind saying it: I typically let sale prices play a significant role in my decision. The randomness injects a little excitement into my routine. It’s like shopping at a flea market, four beers deep, with fifty bucks in singles in my pocket. Who knows what I’ll bring home? Rarely do I leave my comfort zone of ten or so regular cereals, but every now and then I’ll bring home a box of something absurd like <a href="http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1024&bih=609&q=smorz+cereal&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iw">Smorz Cereal</a>. And my life is all the better for it. If only my ancestors could see me now.</div>Nate Seltenrichhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03649741816077793681noreply@blogger.com2